Our Path to Parenthood

On September 27, 2022, the most precious baby girl was born, Rose Kristine Soileau! Everything went perfectly. Our surrogate was amazing. I cut the umbilical cord. After all the tests and a bit of clean up, Rosie came straight to me for skin to skin.

The two days in the hospital were a blur but going home felt amazing. It was finally our little family ❤

Hello! We are officially 32 weeks! I can’t believe how quickly time is flying. Since I haven’t given an update in a while, I figured today was a great day to update everyone. This pregnancy is going by very uneventfully, which is exactly what we want! All signs continue to point to a healthy baby girl! While I don’t have much update to provide, I wanted to use today’s post to respond to burning questions that I’ve heard along the way. Enjoy! 

Is the baby “YOURS?” 

Yes! The baby is 100% mine and Corey’s! In 2020, we went through the IVF process to create embryos. The embryos consist of MY eggs and COREY’s sperm, which makes the baby biologically ours. And if you could see the most recent 3D scan, you’d be able to see that those Roberts genes are STRONG!

What if the surrogate doesn’t want to “give up” the baby?

First of all, the surrogate isn’t “giving up” the baby. The baby is ours, legally and biologically. (There are MANY legal documents in place to ensure that everyone is aware of this at the hospital as well.) She is doing an amazing thing by growing our baby for us. When the baby arrives, she will be directly placed on me for immediate skin to skin. Secondly, if she “takes” the baby, that would be considered kidnapping and we would call the police, just like you would do if someone took your child.

Will you be there for delivery?

Yes! She lives about an hour from the hospital and was induced with her second two so she is wanting to be induced again. They won’t let us schedule it yet but we’re thinking it will be the last week of September. Because of Covid, currently only two people are allowed in the labor and delivery room. At this time, that would be me and her husband. We both feel that she should have her own support person there, especially if something goes wrong. Corey will be in the postpartum room (yes we get our own room!) and I will go there with the baby as soon as she is born and they take all of their assessments and whatnot. Our surrogate will be in the L&D room for approximately two hours and then will be transferred to her postpartum room. They said they will try to get us rooms next to each other but, obviously, can’t guarantee anything. Once we’re all settled in our rooms, we will celebrate with the mimosas that I’m sneaking in. We are hoping that we can sneak Corey into the L&D room, but that is a wait-and-see who is working type of situation. 

Are you using formula since you can’t breastfeed?

First off, yes I could breastfeed! Am I choosing to? No. But let me provide some education on breastfeeding. For a person wanting to breastfeed without going through pregnancy, they can induce lactation. There are a few ways to do so, but all of the protocols involve additional hormones and a ton of pumping a few months before the baby arrives. I am choosing not to because, just like with anyone hoping to breastfeed, there is no guarantee that my body would be able to produce enough or that she would latch. When she finally arrives, both Corey and I want to focus on “stress-free” (as “stress-free” as you can be with a newborn LOL) bonding and we both want to be involved with the feeding. Do I feel guilty for not wanting to induce lactation? Nope! Formula babies turn out just as fine as breastfed babies 🙂 Also, the hormones that are needed to induce lactation tend to make people gain weight, and since I seem to gain 10 lbs by just looking at a cupcake, I didn’t want that added stress in my life!

Will you tell your daughter that she was carried by someone else?

Absolutely! Surrogacy is how she was brought into this world and I want her to know how wanted she was/is. I also want to raise our children with an appreciation of science and everything it has done and will continue to do for humanity. 

Who’s insurance is the baby on?

When you begin a surrogacy journey and are matched with a surrogate, whether through an agency or independently (meaning you didn’t use an agency), one of the first things that is done is an insurance review of the surrogate’s insurance. Fortunately, our surrogate had “surrogate friendly” insurance, meaning that her appointments and some meds were covered by insurance. If she didn’t have surrogate friendly insurance, we would have had to purchase a separate policy that covered everything. So for the birth, her insurance will cover it. A few hours after the baby is born, insurance people at the hospital will help us complete the appropriate paperwork to move the baby to our insurance. 

Speaking of insurance, let me just tell you how unfair infertility is. Every state is different when it comes to insurance policies regarding surrogacy and even surrogacy laws themselves. In Maryland, most IVF procedures are covered. Specifically, my insurance covers almost all of an IVF procedure, AS LONG AS IT IS NOT FOR SURROGACY. Yes, you read that correctly. Since we created embryos with the intended use of surrogacy, our insurance did not cover A SINGLE DIME. However, if someone created embryos with the intent to transfer them to themselves but after that not working, decided to go the surrogacy route, they would have been covered by our insurance. CRAZY, RIGHT?! 

Will you continue to have a relationship with your surrogate after birth?

Absolutely! She has been wonderful through this whole experience and we’d love to continue a relationship with her. She is a very laid back person, which I think has really helped me throughout this. I can tend to become extremely anxious and high strung about things, but because she was so relaxed, it has forced me to take a chill pill. She is not someone who is doing this for the attention or the accolades, but I know that it would mean a lot to her to maintain a relationship. We have communicated mostly over text (hello millennials) so I am sure that we will continue that way, sending fun pictures and giving updates about our lives and our children! She is helping us create a family, so she will always be a special person to us. 

Who can be a surrogate?

No one has actually asked me this but I feel like this should be addressed. When I first started talking about this, I got messages from people saying that if they could, they would. Which, obviously, is so nice! However, realistically speaking, I know that many of those people would not have qualified to become a surrogate or we would not have matched well. In a very general explanation, there are two main factors that need to be considered when considering a surrogacy journey. First, there are the RE’s requirements. The RE is the Reproductive Endocrinologist that is the doctor overseeing the medical protocol and procedure of the embryo transfer. Different clinics have different requirements but a few things that would be considered are BMI, age, previous pregnancy history, and vaccination status (some clinics have stricter requirements than others). Secondly, there are your personal preferences, as well as the IP’s (Intended Parents..that’s us!) preferences, such as vaccination status and preference, termination rights/decisions, distance willing to travel, general lifestyle, etc. The personal preferences are what might be referred to as matching points. Those are fundamental things that the IP and surrogate must agree on before moving forward. 

Why didn’t you just adopt?

I absolutely hate this question and I can’t wait to tell you why. 

First, while surrogacy is very expensive, so is adoption! Or at least it can be. So to say that adoption is sooo much cheaper or easier than surrogacy is false. 

Second, why does it seem like the responsibility of adoption falls on the infertile community? When my fertile myrtle friends expressed interest in conceiving a child, I don’t think that their friends’ and family’s initial responses were “why don’t you just adopt?” Why is that question only asked when someone is using an unconventional route to have a child?

Third, there is no such thing as “just” adopting. Children who are adopted have biological parents that have made an extremely difficult decision to give up their parental rights. If I had to guess, I would guess that many of these biological parents have had to make this decision due to traumatic circumstances. One friend recently brought up an interesting perspective of adoption that she had read about. You know how sometimes we see Go Fund Me accounts for a couple trying to adopt? And then they raise tens of thousands of dollars to complete the adoption? Well why don’t we pour that same type of money into programs that could help the biological parents out of their traumatic situations and give them the chance to be able to raise their baby? It is also interesting that most people I have heard this question from do not tend to lean in a way that would support the funding of these types of programs. There are many factors and layers to adoption so please stop using the phrase “just adopt” and also please stop asking your infertile friends that question. Also, please do not mistake this as not supporting adoption. Adoption is not off the table for us in the future, but we wanted to experience having a biological child and since it is our journey, we had every right to do so. 

Are you SURE you’re ready?

This is such an annoying and rude question to me, yet it seems to be commonly asked to anybody expecting a baby. Is anyone REALLY ready for their first child? I doubt it! I could get into the weeds of “we spent more time trying to have a baby than you did so we’re more ready than you…blah blah” and that type of nonsense, but it is just that…nonsense. Please stop asking this question to anyone expecting a child. It is stupid. (I have a few soapboxes in life and this is one of them. I am trying to keep my response brief, but get some wine in me, and I’d go off about it)

Why won’t your sister do it?

I am sure this is a burning question, but if you had the…pleasure(?)…of being around my sister while she was pregnant, you would understand not wanting to be responsible for round three of that 🙂 (Posted with her permission)

What are you most excited about?

Honestly, we are most excited about bringing our baby home and having space for just us. We do not, for one second, take for granted the incredible blessing our surrogate is giving us. However, surrogacy is complicated and, especially since we’re going through an agency, there are a lot of people involved. I am ready for it to just be me, Corey, and baby girl…our new family of 3 (4 including Beau!). 

If you’re still here, thanks for reading! As always, feel free to reach out and ask any other questions! I am trying to be an open book. The infertility community tends to lay low so I am trying to use this platform for educational purposes as well as letting others know they’re not alone! 

Now, to get ready for our babymoon…Jamaica!

Hello! As you know, Baby Soileau is on HER way!!!! We couldn’t be more excited to share this exciting time in our lives with everyone who has rooted for us, prayed for us, and sent us good vibes over the last two years. While we have had quite a journey, we feel that everything has worked out exactly as it was supposed to. Our surrogate is great, the journey with her has been easy and smooth, and the timing of the due date is perfect (October 2…hello to being off over the holidays!). 

Let’s rewind and talk about the last few months! Our transfer date was January 14. I was beyond stressed. There are several things that can go wrong on the day of the transfer. First, the embryo might not survive the thaw, which then you lose a whole embryo! Second, the embryo could not survive the assisted hatching. Yes, you read that right…assisted hatching. Assisted hatching is a procedure that is supposed to help the embryo “hatch” or break free from the outer “shell” or layer by creating a small crack in that shell. This is supposed to help with implantation, but of course any manipulation of the embryo presents risks. Third, they could find too much fluid or something off with the uterine lining. I’m sure there are more but those were my main fears. So that morning I was a ball of nerves. The plan was to meet our surrogate and her husband for lunch after the transfer. We were walking to the restaurant and our surrogate Facetimed me with our wonderful Dr. Mottla and he said everything went perfectly! He was very excited about her straight cervix. Apparently, some women have some wonky tunnels down there, which can create issues with depositing the embryo in the uterus. Who knew, right?!

So, transfer went well. Lunch was great. And then the two week wait, which is the absolute worst. After transfer, the doctor schedules the beta bloodwork for 10-14 days post transfer. That test confirms the pregnancy. Some women opt to not take at home pregnancy tests but I am absolutely not one of those women. In fact, I bought our surrogate multiple tests and gave them to her at lunch. By day 4, we were both dying so she took one and we got a faint line! That line grew darker and darker over the next several days until the beta test confirmed the pregnancy. A few days later, she had another beta test to ensure that the pregnancy hormone level (HCG) is growing at an appropriate rate. After that bloodwork, we then waited for heartbeat confirmation, which we got at about 6 weeks! From then until about 14 weeks, we had a hard time accepting the fact that this was all working out. We realized that the miscarriage from last year had affected us way more than we realized. Each time we got good news, we thought “okay it’s good for now” or “she’s pregnant…for now.” However, I think in the last week or so we’ve finally turned a corner where we are believing that it is happening and letting ourselves get excited! 

This past Sunday marked 16 weeks (IVF math is weird) so we still have a journey ahead, but things are looking good and we feel so blessed to be at this point. We will continue to keep you updated! Love to all!

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 

So currently, we’re on the optimistic path of “third time’s a charm.” A few months ago, we found out we were matched! I’ve been keeping the details on the quieter side just so I didn’t speak too soon, but now we feel comfortable sharing an update. 

A little about her: She is fairly local, living and teaching in northern Virginia! She has three children and a very supportive husband. We met up with them at a brewery several weeks ago and had a great time chatting with them and getting to know them better. She applied to our agency in February, but she is an avid runner (it takes all types of people to make the world go round, right?!) and she had some super races that she had signed up for throughout the year, so she told the agency that she was not prepared to start a journey until at least after October, after her final race of the season. This turned out to be perfect timing for us! We matched in September so she has spent the last month or so going through the medical clearance process. Because of the issues with our previous surrogate not being able to get a thick enough uterine lining, we wanted to make sure our new match went through a mock cycle before official medical clearance. A mock cycle is when she takes estrogen for about two weeks to see if her lining can get thick enough. At her lining check she was told “we want over 8, and you’re well over!” This gave us a bit of a boost of optimism! 

So now that she is officially medically cleared, we are in the legal contract phase. This phase can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks, or shorter or longer! Virginia does not have the most surrogate friendly laws (stupid conservative commonweath) so getting the wording to comply with Virginia laws but also match the requirements of our agency is tricky. Fortunately, we have an AMAZING attorney and we have all the faith in the world that he’ll do it right, it just might take a little longer than expected. But we’ve waited this long, so what’s a few more weeks to make sure everything is in order, right?

That’s all that I have for an update at this time. I’ve been getting a lot of questions recently so I wanted to share our current status. We’re definitely taking baby steps in the right direction. Looking forward to sharing an update after a while. But until then, enjoy your holiday season and thank you for the continued love, support, and prayers! 

Welp looks like I spoke too soon. Normally, I don’t jump the gun when posting updates, but it seems like I did this time. This week we found out that our doctor will NOT clear our matched surrogate. There were several reasons why. I’m not sure if we think all the reasons are good enough reasons to not be cleared, but we’re also not doctors… so, there’s that. Technically, we could go to another RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist), however, ours is considered one of the best in the area so we trust him and his decision. 

We are beyond frustrated. With that frustration, comes thoughts of “well how much do we REALLY care about them being vaccinated?” It’s easy to start to waiver when you were so close but also know that there are several surrogates “ready to go” who aren’t vaccinated. So right now, we’re in the middle of those thoughts and conversations, and with COVID ramping back up, it’s a tough call. Also, JUST GET YOUR VACCINE!

Please keep sending us good vibes and praying that we can find the right person to help us start our family. Maybe third time’s a charm?

It has been a long time since an update so I figured I’d let Baby Soileau’s Fan Club know what is going on. A lot and, at the same time, nothing has happened over the last several months since the last update. After the February update about the miscarriage, it took a very long time for our surro’s body to fully recover from the D&C. Months in fact. Waiting those months for her body to completely heal and reset was brutal, especially hearing that this was longer than the normal healing time. 

Eventually, it did get back to baseline, and we were so excited to try for another transfer! Well again, her uterus lining wouldn’t thicken enough for a transfer. This definitely caused a very defeated feeling. Our doctor wanted to try one last thing: a natural cycle. This is when they let her body go through a cycle naturally to see if her uterine lining would thicken on its own, without the medication. We had a glimmer of hope at one appointment, but that glimmer was quickly squashed when the lining decreased at the next appointment. We knew, then, that our journey with our surrogate was over. We had tried four cycles and had one pregnancy with an early miscarriage. It was a long year with a long of ups and downs that ultimately led to having to terminate the match. 

When talking to our counselor afterwards, we knew moving forward we wanted our next surrogate to be vaccinated, which a lot of surrogates in their agency currently aren’t. She said this could cause a delay in matching (up to a couple of months), but we knew that this was the right decision for us. We have plenty of house projects; and with the school year about to start back up, we’ll be plenty busy over the next couple of months. We know that waiting longer for the right person is better than rushing into something with someone we’re not as comfortable with. 

Well, FOUR DAYS LATER, we get the call that we have been re-matched! (God’s timing and all of that!) They actually sent us two surrogate profiles of families who wanted to work with us, but one lady wasn’t vaccinated so that was an automatic no for us. The other lady and her family sounded perfect. They also live outside of Glacier National Park, which is even more exciting for us since we have been DYING to go there! Talk about killing two birds with one stone, right?! My friend said it perfectly “What an epic babymoon…literally coming home with your baby!” 

We have “met” them via Zoom twice now, and they seem to be just the most caring, understanding, and supportive couple. She is also a repeat surrogate, which gives us even more comfort that her body can do what it needs to do in this process. 

To say that it was a long year of disappointment would be an understatement. However, I think it is safe to say that we’re at a point, mentally, where we are finally back to feeling excited and hopeful! We still have a long way to go before we’ll get to a transfer, but things are back on track and we’re feeling good about this fresh start. 

Hello! Thank you for patiently waiting for the next update. I was hoping that in a week or so I could announce that we were expecting a precious little baby in September. In fact, today would have been the start of the second trimester. Unfortunately, that is no longer the case. Here’s what happened:

Right before Christmas, we transferred a gorgeous embryo. The doctor said it had thawed perfectly and looked great. We went to lunch with our surro and her husband beforehand, and hung out in the parking lot with her husband during the procedure. Then we waited patiently….or not so patiently, really. Five days post transfer, she sent a picture of a positive pregnancy test! Each day after that, for about 7 days, the line just got darker and darker so we were VERY hopeful! She went in for her HCG level test and her levels were through the roof! She was VERY pregnant! A few weeks later, we all went for the heartbeat confirmation. We’re not allowed in (darn Covid) but we facetimed during the appointment and heard the best sound ever, a beating heart! Doctor said everything looked good! We were set to go back in two weeks for another ultrasound and if everything looked good, she would “graduate” from Shady Grove and use her regular OBYGN for the duration of the pregnancy. Well, two weeks later at the 8 week scan, we discovered that we lost the baby. Our doctor believes it stopped growing shortly after the first ultrasound. That was the longest day ever. In the surrogacy process, there are a lot of people involved. The first phone call was from our surro, and we lamented together. Then our doctor called, then our nurse, then our counselor, then our lawyer, and then our case manager. It was a day full of grief, phone calls and condolences, which is stressful, especially for someone who doesn’t like any of those! 

To say that we were (are?) devastated is an understatement. Miscarriages are so common, especially within the first eight weeks, but it doesn’t make it any easier or less sad. Our doctor said that most miscarriages happen between 6 and 8 weeks. His exact words were “We’re excited at the 6 week scan but hold our breath for the 8 week scan, and THEN we can really celebrate.” Good to know moving forward! 

The silver lining is that our surrogate responded perfectly to the pregnancy. My biggest fear was that something would happen that would result in us having to be re-matched. We’ve created a wonderful relationship/friendship and even our doctor loves our relationship. He has rearranged his schedule multiple times just to make sure that he’s been available for our procedures. He has stated multiple times that he feels very invested in our journey. A little back story: Our surro was working with him before we were matched. So we both had been seeing him for some time before our agency matched us so he was very excited to learn that we would all be working together! He is super confident that everything will work out in the end, and I am holding on to that confidence. 

While it obviously took some time to wrap our heads around the fact that we wouldn’t be having a baby in September, we have accepted it and are now looking forward to the next round. It will be a while before we try again because our surro has to heal and recover, and her health is the most important thing right now. Once everything is back on track, we’ll try again! We’re confident that together, we’ll bring a little, chubby baby into this world, but for now, we practice patience. 

Thanks for the continued love and support!

….for an update! Ha! Got ya, didn’t I?! 

First, I’d like to apologize for the lack of updates. Life has been very crazy and I just haven’t had the time to sit down and process everything enough to put into words. But I’ll just jump straight into it!

In July, we submitted our final information for our full surrogacy application. That means they start sending our information to potential surrogates. In this process, the surrogates receive our letters that we wrote about ourselves and our family, and they are the first to decide if they are interested in working with us. If they are, we are given their letters about them and their family to see if we’re interested. If so, we meet through Zoom and then determine if we’d like to proceed. I know what you’re thinking and yes, it’s basically like internet dating! Just swipe right, right?? 

With the tons of research we’ve done with this, we knew to expect at least 3-6 months for the matching process. It’s a long wait, but over the summer we sold our townhouse and bought a single family home. It’s an older home with MANY projects to be done, so we were looking forward to those house projects keeping us busy during the matching process. 

But ya know how they say God has a different plan and all? Well it sure is true. A week before we moved into our new house (a month after we finalized our application), we got THE PHONE CALL saying that they have found a potential surrogate for us! WHAT?! With the crazy stress we went through trying to get our house sold, and then the craziness of moving into a new home, I barely had the mental capacity to process this. Our counselor listed some information about her (identifying information that I won’t release at this time) and so far we were amazed at how perfect she sounded. As soon as we got home from Lowes (because you know, new homeowners go to Lowes approximately a million times), we jumped onto our portal and read the potential surrogate’s letter. Things just kept getting better and better. Again, at this time I won’t be sharing any identifying information, but HOLY MOLY WHAT A SMALL WORLD is all I’m going to say for now. (One day, we will post an adorable picture together but not quite yet.)

So now what, right? Well we spent a few weeks working through the legal contract together. We both have our own lawyers so it is sent back and forth for reviewing until we agree on all terms. That whole process went nice and smoothly so after that, she began her medications! Now we’re getting into trickier timelines that I won’t be publicizing. You know how most women (except for a few VERY close friends of mine) don’t tell you the exact date they’re going to have to sex in hopes to conceive? Well that’s the same reason I’m not publicizing our exact timeline for the next step! At this point, just know that very exciting things are happening…and soon! However, we won’t be giving anymore updates about how things are going. Hopefully, the next announcement will be a baby announcement! So if you ask how things are going, my response will be “Great! Thanks for asking!” but please don’t be offended if I don’t dive into my usual detailed response. Also, please don’t beg for more information because, as most of my friends know, I can’t keep a secret so it is VERY hard for me to keep this information quiet!

Again, we so appreciate the love, support, and prayers that we have received during this process, and we ask for continued love, support, and prayers through this next exciting (and scary) chapter!

Hello! It has been a while and MANY things have happened! Buckle up, it’s going to be a long post!

I’ll start with approximately three weeks ago when we officially started the IVF process! A few days before I was to start on June 1, an Amazon box came in. I didn’t remember ordering anything (I’ve been trying VERY HARD not to order anything from Amazon lately) so I panicked that I must have started ordering things in my sleep. But nope! My awesome sister, Katie, had sent me a box full of IVF essentials! It included these awesome little gel pads that could be frozen or heated up (the frozen pads were perfecting for numbing before the shots!), a “Get Shit Done” notepad to keep track of everything, pineapple pens (pineapples are a fertility symbol), pineapple bandaids, and a cute pineapple pouch to hold all of these things. Corey had also bought pineapple socks that I wore during the retrieval. So with all of that and a hanging organizer full of needles, syringes, and meds, we were ready to go! 

Our first night of shots was June 1. I took Gonal-F and Menopur. Gonal-F was a redi-filled pen. Just slap a little needle on there and it is good to go. After about 10 minutes of numbing, I didn’t feel a thing when Corey gave me the shot (after holding the needle to my skin for several seconds, we concluded that it would be best if Corey gave the shots and he did an AMAZING job the whole time!). The Menopur was much more intense. It required mixing two ingredients, switching needles, and then injecting. This was also the medication that anyone who has taken this will say “DON’T USE THE BIG NEEDLE” because they give you a massive needle for mixing and then a tiny needle for the injection. So we made sure to immediately discard the big needle every time so we wouldn’t forget! That medication burned as it was injected, which hurt quite a bit, even with numbing.

After three nights of shots, I had my first bloodwork and ultrasound appointment. Some baby follicles had started to grow and my bloodwork showed that my body was responding well to the medications. I went back two days later and had the same results. By the following Monday, a week later, I had several follicles and my estrogen level was through the roof! (Corey swears I wasn’t that bad!) By that point, I had to go to the doctor for bloodwork and an ultrasound EVERY DAY. Quarantine life has blessed me with the opportunity to sleep in every day so these appointments first thing in the morning was a shock to my system. After four days of that (10 days total of shots), I was ready to “trigger.” I want to explain the trigger shot but know that I can’t in a way that makes sense so here is a clearer explanation from the internet: “With IVF, the trigger shot is used before egg retrieval to help facilitate a process called meiosis. In meiosis, eggs go through an important division where its chromosomes go from 46 to 23, priming them for fertilization. Before the eggs release naturally, your doctor will schedule your egg retrieval procedure to collect them for fertilization in a lab. Once fertilized, the embryos will then be transferred back into [someone else’s] uterus for implantation or freezing.” (taken from healthline.com) The trigger shot is scheduled for exactly 36 hours before the egg retrieval. My egg retrieval was scheduled for 2 pm on Saturday, which meant that we had to take the trigger shot at 2 AM FRIDAY MORNING. NOT FUN. So we set an alarm for 1:30 am so we would have plenty of time to actually wake up, get the mixing of ingredients right, and be ready to inject right at 2 am. I, obviously, did not sleep before the shot in fear that we would sleep through the alarm and mess this whole thing up. But we successfully triggered and slept peacefully the rest of the night. The next day, I woke up with a large welt and bruise on my booty where the shot was injected. 

That evening, I had to take an antibiotic, which is standard before an egg retrieval. Well around 11:45 that night, I woke up in a cold sweat and with extreme nausea. I thought I must be having a panic attack. I hadn’t felt overly anxious about this procedure but I wouldn’t put it past my body to respond to something like that. So I tried to do some meditation type breathing/thinking and talk myself down. I started to feel a little better when all of a sudden, the cold sweats were back and I had to RUN to the bathroom to vomit. It was bad. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight so this was perfect timing. At 11:55, I chugged some water, took a Xanax for good measure, and hopped back into bed. I was able to sleep like a baby the rest of the night. The next morning, I checked my Shady Grove Fertility Facebook group, which has been a godsend in preparing me for everything. The women in that group are so informative and helpful that nothing has been stressful or surprising, as they all tell you exactly what to expect every step of the way. However, I never thought that the antibiotic would be the worst part of this whole thing! I searched the group and found many posts about how the antibiotic made everyone SO sick! Who would’ve thought?! 

Around 11:30 am, we headed up to Rockville for the procedure. I was so hungry and thirsty and bloated by the time I got there that I didn’t have the energy to be anxious. However, even if I had been anxious, the staff there were so accommodating and friendly, that all my nerves would have been eased. After about 2 hours of waiting with nurses and doctors coming to check in/hook me up to various IVs, my IV and I walked back to the procedure room. I laid down with stirrups under my knees, my hoo-ha out for all the ladies in the room to see, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room! I had been so worried that I was going to be nauseous and feel terrible afterwards that I couldn’t believe how easy the recovery was. It felt like I had woken up from a good nap. I was so confused when I woke up that the first thing I said to my nurse was “Wait…that’s all?” She laughed and her response was “Yeah we have a good system here.” I immediately asked for water and crackers and texted my family that I was awake. After taking a few more minutes to wake up, I started to get dressed. The doctor came in while I was getting dressed, but, seeing as how she had just been scooping out eggs from my lady parts, I figured I didn’t need to be embarrassed that I was putting on underwear in front of her. She came in to tell me that they had retrieved 9 eggs and everything had gone well. I was a little deflated because I know 9 is a lower number but I also knew that I only had 8 follicles anyways. After that, my nurse walked me out to Corey who was waiting for me at the front desk. 

On the way home, I snacked on Gatorade and goldfish and pondered how they had gotten me back to the recovery room, when I had left the bed and walked myself into the procedure room. I then realized that they had probably hoisted me onto my bed and that I would rather not think about how unattractive and awkward that whole thing must be. 

Once we got home, we were greeted by my whole family. Everyone had come up to celebrate with drinks and Chinese food. (Side note: after an egg retrieval, you are instructed to not eat heavy greasy food….oops!) I honestly couldn’t believe how great I felt. I was tired and a little sore but nothing that a heating pad couldn’t help with. 

The next morning, I still felt a bit tender but again, Tylenol and a heating pad were my friends that day. I had also gotten a call from Shady Grove that 6 out of my 9 eggs had fertilized! Now I just had to wait for my day 5 update, which felt like the loooooongest 5 days in the world. Fortunately, work had kept me pretty busy and I managed to make it through. 

The end results??? We have 4 perfect grade embryos! Yes you read that right. PERFECT GRADE!! Our kids are so smart already!!!! (Also, it’s a good thing they all had the same grade so one day we don’t have to tell our second child that he was truly second best.) So while 9 eggs retrieved was a lower number, the fact that we were able to get 4 AA embryos is awesome! So our four embryos are officially at their first day care, a storage freezer.

Soooo….what now?? Today, we signed the contract with the Center for Surrogate Parenting (CSP) in order to start that part of the process! So now my hard work is done and I can sit back and let someone else do the dirty work for me. We’ll keep you updated on the matching process for a surrogate! Bye for now!