A day of poking and prodding

Hello! It’s been quite a week since I posted and I just wanted to start by saying how much everyone’s kind words have meant to us! So many family and friends have reached out saying the absolute nicest things, and please know how much it means to us! It is overwhelming to go through this process but it makes it a bit easier knowing how many people are rooting for us. 

Last week we met with a case manager at Center for Surrogacy Parenting (CSP) for a consultation. The session was very informative and gave us a lot to think about. It’s quite the process and it is veeeeeery expensive. One question we left with was “Is it worth over 100k just to have a biological child?” We’re honestly not sure! That’s a lot of money for not even a 100% guarantee that we’ll have the cutest, healthiest child! I wanted to ask her if the 150k included childcare for the following 10 years and a maid to change all the diapers and clean my house?!?! 

Since I had never been to a fertility specialist, she said the first step would be to get my eggs checked out to see if surrogacy was truly an option. She recommended Dr. Mottla at Shady Grove Fertility Center and even sent him an introductory e-mail in hopes that we would be able to get an appointment earlier than if we just called like regular people. And it worked! Within just a few hours, we had an appointment scheduled for today. 

So off we went to our first real doctor’s appointment for infertility! It was a little scary with so many unknowns but Dr. Mottla and his team are amazing! He was so informative and personal and I would highly recommend him to anyone struggling with infertility. He explained more about the female anatomy than Corey and I ever thought we’d ever know. He also gave us more information about CSP. He said that they are truly the best of the best in the surrogacy world. They have two offices in the country, one in LA and one in Annapolis. He said that all the rich people in Hollywood who’ve had children through surrogacy have used this group. (My take away from that was that I’d basically be related to Kim Kardashian if we go with them). The downfall to CSP is how expensive it is. Clearly we are not on Kimmie K’s level so that is an obvious barrier to working with CSP. He explained that if we found a woman who would do this for us instead of using an agency, the cost of surrogacy drastically declines. (Any fertile myrtles out there??) 

Along with ultrasounds, I also got three blood tests done and lucky Corey only had to get one. My veins and I are not fans of giving up blood so the nurse had to go through a vein in my wrist! Yes it was painful as it sounds. I just kept telling myself “You have a tattoo and microbladed eyebrows. You can do this.” The first blood test is to get a “behind the scenes” look at what my ovaries are producing, the second is to ensure that all of my chromosomes are present, and the third is a genetic test that Corey and I are both doing. It tests to see if we are carriers for over 280 genetic diseases. Fun stuff!

By the end of the appointment and after a lot of poking and prodding, we had a fairly clear idea that, anatomically speaking, everything is normal (besides the whole absent uterus thing). We have decided that we will move forward with the IVF/embryo freezing process. The doctor explained that I am in my fertile prime, and it is better to make sure that we are able to create super healthy embryos before we put a lot of money into surrogacy. During this process, we will be researching other surrogacy agencies and I’ll be scrolling through Craigslist uterus ads (just kidding…kind of). We are also exploring adoption agencies because that could always be a possibility.

So moving forward, Corey will be depositing a sample of his goods to make sure he has strong swimmers and we will wait for the results of the blood tests, which could take 2-3 weeks. (And, yes, Corey and I both giggled when he was handed the semen analysis kit!) At this point, we probably won’t have many more updates for a while but I will definitely update when we have something to report! Until then, please keep the positive thoughts and prayers coming! We truly appreciate them!