Darn you, Corona!

Hello! First, I’d like to apologize for how long it’s taken me to give an update. A LOT of new information has come and gone over the last several weeks so I’ll start at the beginning. At our last appointment, we met with the financial coordinator. She went over the long list of costs associated with the IVF process. Most of it we knew/expected. The one major thing that we did not know or expect was that insurance companies (at least ours) won’t cover ANYTHING associated with the IVF process if the intended use for the embryos is surrogacy. Yes, you read that correctly. They will not cover a CENT of the process. EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE EXACT SAME PROCESS THAT IS TYPICALLY COVERED FOR A TRADITIONAL PREGNANCY! Talk about a slap in the face. If I’m being completely honest, that was the first time I have felt truly angry at this situation. How is it the least bit fair that it is SO expensive for an infertile woman to have a child? That’s a whole other conversation though. Anyways, so what does that mean for us? Just another 30k added to the bill. Pocket change, right? This baby better be the cutest, most well behaved baby in the history of the world for this price! 

The next step after meeting with the financial coordinator was for Corey to go to the Rockville location and complete his sperm deposit and FDA panel, which he did the following week. The original plan was for him to do his FDA/ sperm deposit stuff and then we’d be sent the contract, give them all of our money, and then I would get started with the hormone injections. We probably would have been looking at this week for the egg retrieval. The week after his FDA panel, our nurse coordinator called me and told me to be on the lookout for the contract and once we signed it and sent the payment, we would schedule my egg retrieval. This was just three weeks ago, about a week into the whole social distancing/schools closed situation. I was a bit surprised that hospitals would still be doing this since I would consider this an elective surgery. She swore that they were still moving forward with these processes. This was on a Monday. On that Wednesday, our financial coordinator called to let us know she’d sent us the contract, however, hospitals were no longer performing egg retrievals if the patient hadn’t started the hormone injections yet. I felt like this made so much more sense. As much as I’d like to get started on this, I didn’t feel like it was socially responsible to be coming and going from the doctor’s office that much and then spending time in a hospital for a very elective surgery. I also didn’t want to put myself, Corey, or our future embryos (and all the healthcare workers!) at any risk of contracting COVID-19. I was a little upset but also a bit relieved. She insisted that we could still make our payment though! Ha! She said if we sent back the contract with the payment, we would be first in line to get everything started once the world opens back up. However, with all of this uncertainty in the world, I feel that waiting is the most responsible thing to do. Our nurse coordinator then called back and told me to stop taking birth control because taking it for too long and suppress things that I don’t want suppressed in order to create healthy embryos. So to sum it all up: everything is on pause. 

Now, am I upset? Sure! We went through so much testing and then right when I’m sent the contract that truly starts everything, it completely goes on pause. However, I’m sitting on my deck, in gorgeous weather, drinking my favorite grapefruit wine, still getting paid, in a home with a wonderful husband and dog; so can I really be that upset when there are so many people who are risking their health every day to save people? Spending hours away from their families in hopes of discovering a vaccine? Spending all day stocking shelves at the grocery store? Dealing with impatient customers in order to fill prescriptions? Corey and I have discussed how lucky we are right now. We are both working; both getting paid; both have healthcare. There are so many people right now who are in complete opposite situations and it is those people who are on my mind right now. 

As much as we’d love to have a baby right now, we also don’t have to worry about feeding them! We don’t have to worry about running out of food or activities to keep them busy. We are able to work, uninterrupted. We are able to get house projects done. I take hour long daily walks, completely by myself, and it is amazing! There are always pros and cons, of course! 

It has taken me a while to update this blog, because it has taken me awhile to figure out how I feel about everything. Instead of focusing on this pause, I have chosen to appreciate this gift of time God has given me. I am getting house projects done now so when I do have a baby, I can focus on it instead of thinking about sewing the curtains or hanging the ceiling fans. I am reading books about behavior so that I can have more tools to use for when I ‘m back in the classroom. And I am using my daily walks to spend time with God, not only worshiping, but praying for the state of our world, our country, our essential workers, and our future family.